Heavy sigh, I am having one of those difficult days where it hurts to be alive. You know, those days where even your toenails hurt, where your head and your limbs are so heavy you wonder why you are not sinking into the floor, and perhaps the worst part is that if someone even dares to notice somethings amiss, you think you will burst into tears because the effort to hold them in takes everything you’ve got.
But I have to say that it is days like these that make me aware of God’s goodness. How He can use bad situations for good. Because without what seems like an impossible burden, I think I would just fold up the circus that is my life, and give into the pain.
So instead of having only myself to focus on, He has given me seven lovable individuals to financially and emotionally provide for, and therefore, because I am needed and loved where I am, I have to push through the bad days like it or not.
So am I saying my pain and despair are a gift from God, well no, not a gift in the sense that it is wanted, but I would have to say yes in the sense that it’s made me into the person I am today, and I definitely like this person better than the one before.