Well my elephant has decided to try and squash me absolutely flat again. For quite a while he had been content to sit off to side in the space I had allotted him; never leaving, constantly interrupting, but always just short of debilitating.
It must have been that he too caught a glimpse of my glimmer of hope, or perhaps he heard those faint voices in the dreamy places of my mind that were whispering false benumbed promises and that it was time for him to move on, but no, he was having none of that.
Now that I am down, struggling is pointless, and actually, I have learned over the years that to try and wrestle with my elephant only makes him wriggle and press in for a more comfortable seat, and the more comfortable he is, the longer he sits.
The only thing bigger and stronger than my elephant is God. Perhaps as I am prostrate and pinned to the floor The Lord is patiently waiting for me to call on Him, I have just been too stubborn and prideful to do so. Gee willikers what is wrong with me, for I have nothing to lose and everything to gain if it is His will to lighten the load.
Being the quasi-optimist that I am, I like to look for a bright side, and this one is that being squashed flat to floor has provided me with much needed time to be still and to pray. I just wish this could be accomplished without such drastic measures, because this elephant is really heavy.