Why did I do it? Everything was chugging along just fine. I was walking to work (one time), I was taking all my medications as instructed (maybe), correcting my diet (most times), I was doing my strengthening exercises (allot), and actually starting projects rather than only accomplishing them in my mind for a change, then I had an idea
My family has enough common sense to scatter when I utter those four words together; I obviously do not. Well, I had this idea, since my small baby step efforts where making such a difference, why not go all the way and accept the help so often offered by others, and being cursed with a lack of moderation I busily made appointments with every management program I had been offered.
So there I was, with my already trimmed to the bone schedule to be able to accommodate my maybes, sometimes, and allots, when what did I do but try and fix what was not broken, for the more hours I spent with the experts telling me how much they were going to help me, and that they had a better way, the less I did.
I could go on and on here about how all these appointments of being told what and how to do what I already knew were using up all the time I had available to do it, but really it was my quirk, that thorn in my side, the inability to do as I should multiplied a googolplex by my fear of failure.
For you see, I had made a fatal flaw, I told others, it was public, they were watching.
Today however, I had an idea, the time has come the walrus said, wait, that’s wrong, the time has come to try a new beginning, and so tomorrow I will start small with the important things, such as praise and thanksgiving that the The Lord has blessed me with another day and then just maybe I’ll make my bed.