One of the many benefits of having given away my vehicle, has been that while I walk to work, I once again I have a block of uninterrupted time to listen to music. The above song was such a delight this morning.
While I walk, I have my ipod set to random selection so that I never know where it is going to go. I am so in love with how it will lay different genres next to each other, which delightfully keeps me focused on an individual song, rather than to have so many of same sounding songs run together, thus blending them into an endless mass of noise. Beside, what can I say except, I am into the unexpected surprise of the juxtaposition of the divergent.
The other evening after relaying a humorous anecdote about our lack of a second commode, it stuck me how sniveling it would sound to many in the world to hear me complaining about not having two of something, and by the way, my many includes a lot of folks right here in first world U. S. of A.
And now, in my awkward rabbit hole fashion, I am wondering, is there a second world out there? I mean I always hear about the third world and the first world, but what would define the second world. Golly gee, when I finish here I am going to have to google.
So anyway, we moved back into our current residence a little over a year ago, where nothing much had been worked on or upgraded since 1954. Also added to the mix of this neglect are Asbestos flooring and lead paint, so even if I could afford to hire contractors, they do not want to touch this nightmare until we have removed the above said items.
And where am I going with all this you ask, well this a ramble so I won’t know until I get there, and all I can really know at this moment is that next I am going to stumble around a bit with the providential nature of God, because from my current vantage point I can look back on a time which seemed to be a burden when in hindsight it was a time that prepared us for today. The time to which I am referring are the 6 years that the family spent in a 1910 death trap with a negligent absentee landlord. Hence, we were free to experiment grandly and in the process learned home repair without interference. It was a lovely time period of our journey towards home, and I am only free to say this because it is there and we are not.
Still, we never have tried dry walling. Wait I need to stop right here and fess up to acting the queen, for the we I keep referring to did not include me, I am using it in the royal sense. I observed and supplied funds, but never actually got to put hands on tools to my regret; I was needed elsewhere. So to continue, when we moved into this current treasure trove of do it yourself projects, the first thing that needed upgrading, after the internet network of course, was the houses electrical box and wiring. However in the process walls were damaged. Be patient I am getting to it even if it is true that I have lost track of what it is. Hum?
I forgot to mention that we had also taken a sledge to one of the bathroom sinks (subterranean termites had there way with it) and shower (installed too low, sewage seeped 😧) And removed electrical heaters from the walls so that we could snag their dedicated breakers for something else until we could replace the recalled barely functioning electrical box. Because you see, the entire house was almost being run off of one breaker. I suppose in 1946 they were not concerned with having. your microwave, toaster, teapot, coffee maker, mixer, refrigerator, washing machine, and stove all on one breaker. Oh, along with my sons three monitor power sucking mega computer 😳
Gosh golly I am truly rambling tonight. I started with commodes and I am somehow on to power sucking. I suppose it would be a good time to mention that a good power sucking commode is worth every precious penny you pay for it. Because as I look back replacing the over the hill aged toilet was the first thing we did, after the internet cabling of course, we know what’s what around here. It is hard to believe how many years I cleaned up after that ancient overflowing monstrosity when it was so easy to replace. My advice to any man out there being penny wise and pound foolish because toilet cleaning does not fall into your realm of responsibility, man up, buy your wife a good functioning toilet.
Okay yikes! I give up what does overflowing toilet water have to do with the first world, think think think, nothing, absolutely nothing. I concede.
Blessings Belinda ❤️
Today was one of those good days. A day of sleeping until you awaken. Of fresh hot coffee and time with Lord while still in bed without the rush of obligations. A day with a little of this and a little of that, never actually doing anything, just puttering about and dreaming of how it used to be. All without regrets for they accomplish nothing but sadness.
I can truly thank the Lord for this day. He knew it was desperately needed. He knew how I have been avoiding taking on any responsibility for my home. How I have been leaning on others to carry the load because I did not care to touch the third rail of sorrow that keeping and managing my home had become as the majority of my time and attention is demanded elsewhere.
Therefore, even if now, in the typical way of my life, interest has revived just as I am becoming too ill to do much, I will need to overcome this physical setback somehow. Because it has taken just over a year for me to become comfortable living in my own home again, the one we left so many years ago in a panic.
And even though my husband abandoned the property, I am always cognizant of the fact that I will not be able to stay here permanently. For someday, which could be next month, next year, next decade, he will decide he wants his half of the equity and will file for divorce to force the sale.
Still, I will just have come to the place where I look on illness and divorce as nothing more than an additional annoyances in a very long line of already queued annoyances, and instead focus on the Lord and his goodness.
For today He has made me realize, as we puttered and communed, that I must enjoy what He has given me in the present, regardless of what tomorrow may bring. Also that it is about time I rejoined with my responsibility as keeper of my home. Even if this entails the hiring of help if need be. So with prayer and contemplation, I would have to say that, yes, today was definitely a very good day.
My feeling of satisfaction and well being as pertains to this blog has vanished into thin air. Maybe it will return, maybe not. What changed I wonder? Perhaps it is because I feel that I have nothing left to say. At least for today, and I am not really sure if I want to return to my cup runneth over days, where the words and thoughts gripped me constantly.
Well, they do still grab hold of me, and spin gold out of straw. It is just that as my memory continues its slide into oblivion, I cannot remember them long enough to weave them into coherency. They slip away even before the ink of my imagination dries. I remember only well enough, to know that they were there, but to try write them down is a banquet of frustration.
Additionally, why only now, do I catch a glimmer of the public exposure I have let myself in for, it would have been better form to have remained in the dark I think.
So I think I will finish up today’s ramble with the story of foswab.
For it amuses me 😊
I must preface with the fact that as a child I took everything said too literally, and with complete seriousness, probably still do, I just hide it better 😉
Anyway, Growing up, the family always gathered together and ate the delicious home cooked meals my mother made. Every night as we would finish, someone would ask what was for dessert. My mother would reply “Foswab” and laughter would ensue. Except of course from me, for I wanted that foswab, I mean, it must be tasty if it brought such happiness to the others just by the speaking of it.
This misunderstanding must have started when I was quite young and continued for years as I waited for the day the foswab would actually make its way onto the table, and into my mouth. Finally I could take it no more, and I cried out in rage for my foswab, why were they keeping it from me, when would I be old enough to get it like they kept telling me.
Sigh….that is the day my mother explained. We never had dessert after dinner because we ate our sweets in the afternoon, so that dinner could be served later when everyone was home. And foswab was just her way of saying, enjoy the “feeling of satisfaction and well being” of being with family, good food, a snug home, another day done.
I use this word myself now quite a lot. For it encompasses so much.
However, I always try and explain exactly what it means when I do.
Praise God from whom all foswab flows.