Today was one of those good days. A day of sleeping until you awaken. Of fresh hot coffee and time with Lord while still in bed without the rush of obligations. A day with a little of this and a little of that, never actually doing anything, just puttering about and dreaming of how it used to be. All without regrets for they accomplish nothing but sadness.
I can truly thank the Lord for this day. He knew it was desperately needed. He knew how I have been avoiding taking on any responsibility for my home. How I have been leaning on others to carry the load because I did not care to touch the third rail of sorrow that keeping and managing my home had become as the majority of my time and attention is demanded elsewhere.
Therefore, even if now, in the typical way of my life, interest has revived just as I am becoming too ill to do much, I will need to overcome this physical setback somehow. Because it has taken just over a year for me to become comfortable living in my own home again, the one we left so many years ago in a panic.
And even though my husband abandoned the property, I am always cognizant of the fact that I will not be able to stay here permanently. For someday, which could be next month, next year, next decade, he will decide he wants his half of the equity and will file for divorce to force the sale.
Still, I will just have come to the place where I look on illness and divorce as nothing more than an additional annoyances in a very long line of already queued annoyances, and instead focus on the Lord and his goodness.
For today He has made me realize, as we puttered and communed, that I must enjoy what He has given me in the present, regardless of what tomorrow may bring. Also that it is about time I rejoined with my responsibility as keeper of my home. Even if this entails the hiring of help if need be. So with prayer and contemplation, I would have to say that, yes, today was definitely a very good day.