Something Borrowed, Something Blue.

It was the sunset which did Fred in. He often overstayed, it was his unfortunate bad habit to be the last man still present long after all other guest had politely departed. He had mistakenly thought he was so witty and clever hosts wanted him to themselves, thus never requested his departure, when it actuality Fred was just too dense to pickup on their subtle shooing.

This time it was not like that. For Fred had been clued in by a friend of courage just that morning, about not borrowing trouble. To start being the first to depart, that is if he wanted to quench the rumbles of weariness his lingering was generating; if he still wanted to continue to be one of the lucky privileged ones with access to the soirees of the rich and famous.

So that twilight when Fred wandered out onto the kitchen porch of his latest social obligation in search of some solitude, he set to pondering whether he did want to be invited and tortured with artificial friendliness for evermore. He gleefully came to the conclusion that he didn’t really like parties much, that it was his estranged wife who did, not himself. With this happy release of expectation, Fred found himself waiting for a lull in arrivals, so he could slip away, unassailed by the inbound, to freedom.

But then, the sun set, darkness ensued, Fred tripped, choked on the olive in his martini, turned bluer than the sun, and with borrowed sorrow was celebrated in posterity as the life of the party.

 

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This and That

I went out this evening to take a picture of the progress of the corn fort before it was too far along to be a beginning, and was consequently drawn into a little of this and a little of that in the process.

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Flowers have taken over the place of the hibiscus. It might be puny now, but it surely won’t stay that way for long, and besides, the best made plans should always be open to adjustment. At least that’s my story and I am sticking to it 😉 Yep. Still, we will have to wait until winter to disturb it again. I have been told that it needs its rest after the trauma of this latest burial, and I so do not want to lose it for sentimental reasons. For this poor pitiful bush was one of my number one daughters first plant purchases after she took on the task of the outside things in our first rental, and we have been carting it around ever since. We really must find it a place to root for life 🤔

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We have been busy busy, but we finally put in the posts for the black berry vines. It will be handy having these here. I can’t wait to plant peas when the berries are pruned back. It has been so long since we could just step outside and eat off the vine 😍

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The grass has been removed laboriously by daughter number three. She was able to get the edging on, soaker hoses in, and some sweet william planted before swim season started and coaching beckoned. The lilies, artichokes, and strawberries will have to wait. Also, we want to widen the walk by about eighteen inches and she has decided to learn about concrete and do it herself. I am told everything you ever wanted to know is on YouTube. Well, I am game if she is 😳 This is why I so prefer to own rather than rent; we get to experiment!

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I find it amusing that Bat Bunny, (her small owner was Batman for the entire third year of his life), likes to pen herself in behind the pieces of tomato tepee frame leaning against the fence, even when she has the free reign of the yard now that she has dug her way out of her pen. Sigh… I just don’t have it in me to confine her in a cage above the ground. We haven’t quite worked out how we are going to keep her out of the corn…..hum?  Well to keep it simple, I will just let that go for now, for the answer does always come if you just wait for it to percolate a bit.

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Tonkas and wood. It just makes me smile to see these rugged beat up old toys powering their way over the wood. My number two son’s job for this summer is to split and transport all this cedar to his grandparents house, because they prefer to heat their house with their fireplaces. Hehehe…this is only the small stuff and a tiny little portion of the whole 😆 He is going to have such fun.

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The gutters from the boat races blew off the top of the chickens coop in the last wind storm. The weather this year is being so unpredictable. I am loving and liking it, the never knowing what’s next 🙃  So anyway, seeing these here all tumbled around gave me an idea. Number one grandson wants to have pine wood derby races this 4th of July. Perhaps these could be modified into a sort of improvised race way? The cars are not the problem for us, even though we should get started the way we procrastinate 😟 it is the raceway that has been eluding me. Humm…..I wonder?

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At last the beginning of the corn fort. They are doing a super job. (better than I would that’s for sure) Next the water system will go in and an old piece of carpet for the center, some weed cloth and gravel along the fence, and of course the corn needs to be planted 🙄 Unfortunately I picked up a bug on my trip to the doctors earlier this week and have not been able to help much, but I am up for it now, which of course means it will rain tomorrow.  However, I am totally okay with that, because I never never never turn my nose up at free water!

Blessings Belinda❤️

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Yolanda Waits

Wasn’t it just yesterday that Yolanda was on its trail; diligently. She wanted it more than she ever thought was possible. When it veered, she veered, when it paused, she paused, no stone or idol was left unturned, as she never once removed her focus from it and the finish, and then, she blinked, just once, and somehow forgot. Her striving, it switched off, just like that, with a snap, crackle, and pop.

It wasn’t intentional, she did not decide to give up on the pursuit, in actuality, she just forgot she was in mid hunt. So consequently on this day of inauspicious beginning, when she awoke, dressed, gathered her umbrella, and set out to travel down the well worn path of the least resistance, the path of the past. Little did she know that it had been torn up, destroyed, made impassable, by no other than herself, and thus was taken aback and surprised by the damage, and the endless looping caution tape preventing her passage.

As she surveyed her surrounds and found nothing left which was familiar, from her feet to the far flung reaches of the horizon, what should she do was the question set before her as she pondered how to proceed. There were only three clear choices, at least three were all she was able to discern in her current distress, and she, being ever practical, only gave these three notice and authenticity.

Should she go on a rampage against the destroyer of her passage, looking for someone or something to blame, someplace to apply some suffocating guilt; she was quite good at that…hum….maybe.

Perhaps she should pull on her sturdiest boots, and spend her remaining available resources cleaning up the mess, putting everything back just as it was before, before, before? Unfortunately she forgot what was before, before she even finished the…….?

Or just possibly, if she was still and quiet, and waited very very patiently, she would manage to arouse the hidden people who resided within, and they would carry her over, under, through and beyond, to a place of magical contentment, and unto the freedom from the need to hunt ever again, for the elusive it of evermore.

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Day Book #7

Sunday April 24th 2016

Today we were finally able to break ground on the corn fort. It has been crazy making trying to arrange a time when the grandbabies, their mother, and myself were all available, but finally today was the day.

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I should have taken pictures of the varies stages of construction but I never think to do so in the moment. I wish I had, because the dog and the rabbit came over and settled in to watch the hullabaloo. Why is it that dogs always seem to sit in the very spot you don’t want them to, and then bring their rabbit pal along with them.

Add on to this my letting of the chickens out to roam, only to have them be chased and hugged by number two grandson, Squawk! Eventually we took pity upon those hens, let them escape back into captivity, and gave him the hose instead to water himself.

During all this digging and sitting and squawking, number one grandson was intermittently escaping from the tediousness of grass removal, and bringing the new baby chicks out of their safe spot, one by one, to be admired and approved. He is doing such a super job of caring for them.

Then throw into this mix, number two sons arrival, who gets tickled pink if he can succeed in throwing on another layer of chaos, and more often than not he does 🙄

So, yes, I would have to say chatting about nothing in particular with number one daughter, while all the while working on this folly together, was definitely the high point of my day.

💛💜💛

I suppose if I am going to stick with the program I need to consider a low point for today, but I am having trouble with it. Not because there was not a down side of today to consider. What kind of day doesn’t have low points, not mine that’s for sure. It is just that I can feel the resistance building to the guidelines I have created surrounding this format. I can just see my fingers playing havoc with the keyboard if I am not careful. It must be time to move on; tomorrow perhaps.

Because todays low point should be spoken. It once again appears I did not corral my mind regarding a church to attend. I mistakenly thought my mind and I had agreed on a church just a few blocks away (I gave my car away) However when this morning rolled around, fear of the new and unexplored took hold, and we discovered a multitude of reasons (excuses) to resist.

Sigh…..❤️

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Day Book #6.75

Somewhere near the end of April, on a Saturday, written about a Friday, yep.

Yesterday I was as brave as a barrel full of bears….hum?  Which really doesn’t mean much since if all those bears were to be somehow shoved into a barrel, I am pretty sure they would have to be dead, so brave? I don’t think so, which makes me wonder why I even say that?  Ponder, ponder, ponder……one really should consider these things sometimes, or one will just end up sounding like an idiot.

So yesterday I ventured forth into realm of the others. I made an appointment, plotted my course, walked, talked, and rode the train. Well needless to say I arrived more than an hour early (I worry so about nothing), but lo and behold I was giving a late comers spot, thus I was seen to, shooed out the door, and was able to walk and talk and ride, only to arrive back at my point of departure all before my scheduled appointment time.

It killed me.

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So Ordinary

“I came to writing from a place of great isolation, and I wrote to tell secrets to myself. In those years, the space between me and everyone else seemed so vast, an unspeakable world had opened up inside me with no avenue for expression.

So when I started writing, it was not an act of sharing with others, but a kind of joining of my outside self with my hidden inside. An attempt at wholeness. There was no reader. There was only me and me. I was whispering secrets in my own ear.”

Jessie Cole

Yes, So ordinary. I say this because a few bits of the thoughts above could be my story. They definitely were the story of the writer whose blog used this quote to tell theirs. Additionally the deeper I read into the blogosphere, the more and more it becomes apparent that this is a sentiment commonly echoed by many.

I am not sure about the others, but I can say for myself that it gives me such release to be ordinary, not special, just one of the multitude that feels the need to lay out their angst in prose in order to make sense of it all; to quell the loneliness. There is such freedom to recognize this common need to be understood.

Now I will say that some have the ability to make themselves understood in ways which are anything but ordinary, thus tripping across these treasures can make the hunt so earnestly worthwhile.

Sigh…….

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Day Book #5

April 21st 2016

Today has been a strange kind of day. Rather neutral regarding ups and downs. It is not too warm or too cold. Work was not bad or good, stressful yes, but the ordinary stress. The family is all healthy and doing well in whatever endeavor they have undertaken at the moment, no angst needing my absorption. So I suppose the good things about today are the simple things like the revelations realized and the decisions made, which are often overlooked or taken for granted with the passing of time, however, if added up and internalized, make up the fabric that cloaks us.

Which for some reason brings to mind Numbers 6:24-26

The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord make His face to shine upon you,
and be gracious to you.
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
and give you peace.

Well there you go, this is it, the high, thank you Lord 😌

💛💛💜💛💛

Low point of the day would have to be when my kids did not know who Van Morrison was; I am such a failure as a mom 🙄

❤️ Blessings Belinda

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