So….I started this blog with the primary mission being outreach to my family.
Very quickly it morphed into a sort of self-directed therapy to unravel myself.
But most importantly I have learned what the difference is between a Saviour and a Lord. Thank you to all poets and preachers, finders and seekers, for pouring out the depths of your soul for me to glean that knowledge from.
Still I am having trouble continuing. There are reasons, they are personal, but real. Additionally I keep wanting to add a new direction, but I am hesitant because I have become cognizant of readers. Thus I keep deleting all followers (Sorry if it was you, it wasn’t personnel) and those I follow, in a midnight panic yes, but perhaps also to remind myself to reconsider my primary mission. This is not a new phenomenon. Sigh…and most likely won’t be the last.
So in my rambling roundabout fashion there is a point. I have decided to try a day book of one good thing about my day, and one thing about my day I wish had been different. (I do not remember where I read about this idea so take this as a blanket thank you in hopes of it making its way to the intended recipient) I quickly saw this as a way to gather what I like and don’t like, so that I could look back at over time and pull together patterns of behavior to continue or cease. At first I thought this would be a duplication of my praises and prayers blog, but it is something different altogether. Because I intend to write out the first pleasant recollection of my day followed by the first angst which pops into my head, and being my “can’t follow the rules self”, I will basically do what ever I want. Besides can you have too much prayer or praises anyway.
However the above being said, I at first intended these bits of everyday life to be a private category of posts, but then I remembered my primary mission of my family, and how I wanted to share my life with them, and how no matter how hard I try, I do not seem to be able to get past the difficulty of concentrating on eye contact when it comes to conversation. So this category is for those that need to know me, and I will not be afraid.