Well hey, when I think of X the first thing that comes to mind is, be excellent to each other from Bill and Ted, which therefore leads to Speed, which leads to The Lake House, which leads to Hope Floats, which leads me to wonder about my life?
For I too at one point was bodacious and bold, until I discovered the cruelty lurking in the world that is, and thus withdrew. I then came to realize the freedom available in anonymity, and now with my physical limitations, I don’t think I could ever go back to those careless and carefree days even if I wanted to.
No, I really just want to be left alone to meander slowly and carefully within my own private realm, hoping to create something of beauty here and there. For really my life is just like this blog, with little bits of this and that, nothing ever complete or abandoned, yet quite satisfying to me anyway.
Invisibility is a highly underrated superpower I think.
However, I have somethings I would like to learn, to improve and speed up some skills I would like to achieve, so venturing out has become a necessity.
Therefore, truly X is for exit, because I have come full circle with my writing. For you see I began with the hope that those I knew would read my posts and consequently perhaps understand the side of me I could not share, and maybe just perhaps I would be able to have a friend.
Well, it did work, but not in the way I was expecting. For by sharing my private thoughts and feelings in my writing, I learned to be able to share them face to face with people, which is actually kinda nice.
However. I also came to realize that my lack of social skills is not why I don’t have friends, I found I am just unwilling to put in the time and effort a friendship requires, and I truly prefer to be alone most of the time.
Along with that self-revelation came the dread of having someone I know discover my scribbles and come to discover more about me than I am currently willing to share. For I find I no longer want to be fully known by anyone but me.
Still I very much enjoy the writing, so yes, in the end, X is for the exit of the public display of my blog, no matter how much I will miss the interaction with other bloggers I will never meet.
For as time goes by, the probability of having someone I know, or will know, come across this site grows, and I have come to value my privacy more…..sigh
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
Ps. I decided I was being decidedly egotistical to think it all matters at all 🙄 Belinda