50:9 No Go Zone

9) Your most embarrassing moment.

imageThis is just not a question I am inclined to answer, because to be able to do so, I would have to spend some time considering all the embarrassing moments I could recall, and then weighting them according to severity, and why in the world would I want to do that!

Also the moments I will retell and make fun of myself over for the amusement of others, are not in actuality deeply cringe worthy if one really considers them honestly.

For those dank dark, most embarrassing things, will never reach the light of day if I have anything to say about it.

The Lord knows and that’s enough for me.

Blessings Belinda

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50:8 A Small Quiet Life

8) Your day in photos.

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First I made the coffee, and usually while I wait for it to brew I put away the last nights dishes, but today there weren’t any to put away because I was lazy yesterday. Therefore, I just stood there in a stupor, while it took forever and ever and ever to finish.

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Once I had the brewed bean juice, I made my way back to my treacherous chair, opened the blinds, imbibed, and watched the hummingbirds enjoy their morning nectar too.

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Now I was fully awake, and ready to spend some quality time with the Lord…..sigh so lovely.

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Afterwards, I planned my meals for the day on Myfitnesspal and made my yummy wrap for breakfast.

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Then my far away daughter called, thus chair time was gladly extended for awhile.

Next, it was past time to go out and feed the animals, let the chickens out, turn on the soaker hoses allocated for the day, and not get side tracked by the tomatoes and strawberries that needed munching.

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I also watered the pots in waiting, and enjoyed looking at collection of this and that on the shelf.

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I eventually decided to do something productive with my day and began working on finishing my mother’s attic boxes. The one I opened this day was full of damaged embroidered items which were intended by her to be salvaged in bits and pieces and used in crazy quilts.

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As I was checking out the view from the back porch on the way back into the house, I noticed that it was time to turn off the soaker on the black berries.

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Which meant going into the front yard, and of course, I stayed there for just a smidgen to admire my daughters recent work.

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So many hours have been put in by my children to create my vision for the yard, and I am ever so thankful and blessed ❤️

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Well here is where the day took a turn for the worse, for as I was about to start the dishes I had neglected yesterday, I made a very bad judgement call. I knew that I absolutely needed to go to the store today, that it was the most important chore of the entire day, so I decided to go right then, just in case a wave of fatigue crashed over me unexpectedly, as is so oft to happen.

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Unfortunately it was over 100 degrees outside and my car’s air conditioner is broken, and ever since the heat exhaustion a few weeks ago, being in that kind of heat for more than a few minutes knocks me out, and I don’t recover for hours.

However, I am used to having my days cut short, and actually, this was a better than usual day considering how many are over and done with before they even get started.

But, and I do love buts, I have finally learned to adapt and go with the flow of things and give in to the need for rest, rather than to try and push through the fog and pain, and fight against that which I cannot change.

Besides, my treacherous chair would miss me, and would not tolerate it at all, if I managed to stay away from its clutches for too long.

🌸 Belinda 🌸

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50:7 A List!

7) 13 things you can’t handle, gross or otherwise.

Alarm clocks

Ringing telephones

Psycho violence

People touching my feet

Crying in public

Long toenails

Meet and greets in Sunday services

Watching surgery incisions in a movie

Swimming in water with fish

The bag of parts inside turkeys

Too short tights or pantyhose

A mouth full of toothpaste foam

Being lost

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50:6 In all things give thanks

6) The hardest thing you have ever been through?

The hardest thing is right now at work, and I am daily not sure if I can continue to go on like I have been, and the only reason I hold on and keep trying, is because of the occasional glimmering glimpse of the end.

However…sigh…it turns out to be a mirage and as the light shifts I am once again plunged into despair for the future.

This is not to say that there haven’t been worse circumstances, only that as I lean more and more on the Lord for my peace of mind, and have seen Romans 8:28 played out in my life time and again, I tend to find I let go of the really awful parts from the events of the past, and rest in what God was teaching me, or winnowing out of me, during those turbulent times.

This example isn’t great, but I could liken my selective remembrance to having my children, for while in the midst of childbirth, I swore right and left, never again, but then the baby is laid in my arms, and that precious gift from God wiggles and wiggles in deep, and tips all recollection of pain right out of my memory banks, and all that remains is the joy.

Thus the gain in character, knowledge, or love, from life’s tribulations, is why I suppose, that one can speak of some of the best times of their life, happening during their deepest struggles.

So with all that being said, if I am asked this question next year, what is the hardest thing you have been through, I can only hope there has been resolution for my present difficulty and I will be able to see the good that came out of it, that is, if it doesn’t kill me first today 😳

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And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

 

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Stop, Look, and Listen.

PianoIMG_0866I love it when the Lord’s provision is so in your face that you cannot miss it.

For just last Friday, my daughter and I were discussing the need for a new piano. Our current one does not have a full keyboard, and my grandson’s song selection is being limited by this.

Well there is just no way that the funds for a new piano was going to be part of a budget anytime soon, if ever, and when my daughter shared this with my grandsons piano teacher, she told her that there are folks who are frequently trying to give pianos away to a new home, but that it can be quite difficult. It seems that people hesitate to take them up on the offer of a free piano, because they assume there must be some kind of catch. I mean, who would believe that pianos are being given away, here and there, willy nilly, for free.

It just so happens that this information was also a provision from the Lord, for without it, I am not sure we would have taken my brother seriously on Monday when he told me his neighbor needed to give away a piano. It is mostly likely, we like others, might have wondered what was wrong with it, and been suspicious without cause, especially when the giver offered to personally hire and pay the movers. The only catch involved at all was that it the transaction had to happen quickly. It was taking up too much space in his house.

This needing or wanting, and almost instantly receiving, has happened before in just the same spectacular unmistakable way, and this gives me pause. Why must it be so substantial for me to notice the Lord’s provision? I know that all I have is from Him, and that He has what is best for me as His every intent. Unfortunately, I have let life get too hectic to take the time to notice and acknowledge His awesomeness as I should.

Sigh….It is definitely time to slow down and smell His roses, and if this is His wake up call to me to do so, well, thank you Lord. It couldn’t be more grand.

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50:5 If only I

5) The big lie you kinda got away with?

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It would have to be the lies I tell myself concerning the past, regarding the over estimation of my own importance, for example:

  • What if I had only run when…
  • What if I had only paid attention when…
  • What if I had only listened when…
  • What if I had only tried harder when…

You know those lies, the ones that have you running a looping dialogue in your mind, of what if I had only done this instead of that. As if you are the one in control of the universe.

Well this is nothing but sheer unmitigated pride in oneself, because if only lies, deny the sovereignty of God. For today, regardless of all my poor choices and behaviors, I am exactly where God wants me to be. I cannot change His plans, only make my life more difficult than it needs to be.

So starting today, I am not going to beat myself up anymore with if onlys, because those ifs are the whispers of darkness, and I am a child of the Light.

Rather, I am going to cling with joy to fact that the Lord has called me out regarding my hubris, crushed the lies, and won’t let me get away with them anymore.

Nope, God is good and I rest in His tender mercies.

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“The Lord upholds all who fall, And raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look expectantly to You, And You give them their food in due season. You open Your hand And satisfy the desire of every living thing.” Psalm 145:14-16

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118 degrees

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So, in my usual procrastinating manner, I did not put in an air-conditioner before it got hot, and because this morning I woke up with a blinding head ache, throwing up, and disoriented, I have had to flee my cozy treacherous chair and go to my air-conditioned work on my free day, and additionally, my daughter tells me that I will have to be extra careful for the next several months, as that is the recovery time from heat exhaustion.

Sigh….no more slipping out for a quick afternoon weed pull in the garden.

Well, now that I have that off my chest, what good can I glean from this situation?

1) I am the only one here because everyone else is on vacation this week, and that is a good thing because it is quiet, just as I like it.

2) I have been struggling to fill a hole of significant size in the companies cashflow (that’s what I do, I am the queen of cashflow) I had gotten it down to just under 50K when out of the blue an email comes in this morning with a new order and deposit of 50K to be received next week. Yes! I could have managed without it, but it was going to be ugly. So by being here I can stop mulling over that problem in the back of my mind.

3) I can write on this post on a computer rather than my iPad, such a luxury.

4) I am not able to do all the chores I should around the house, so I really am free to do what ever I want….wait…humm…everything I want to do is at home, so not really a good thing, with the exception of the fact that I was going to clean the bathroom this weekend, and now I cannot, so that’s a positive, yippee!

I just thank the Lord that I had a place to come to today, because I spent yesterday surrounded by fans, while staying soaking wet, clothes and all, with ice packed into strategic places to cool my blood, and it worked until I went to sleep and the ice melted and the water evaporated.

Then again if I didn’t have a key to my place on employment, all I would have to do is go into a government building, because man are they using our tax dollars well, for even the post office is a low 70 degrees, even when its closed for business, and all you want to do is access your PO box.

There is also shopping. Stores keep that air set low on purpose I suppose, because I wonder how much more money Wal-Mart makes during a heat wave?

Okay, I am beginning to ramble, it must be the heat. right? (insert snort fest here)

I always lose track, but this time, it is that I am avoiding the hard work of writing what is knocking on the front of my head trying to escape, and those escapees always seem to be hardened nuts to crack.

Blessings Belinda

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