50:25 With His Love

50:24 To what are you addicted?

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There was a time I would have answered the likes upon this blog. I was obsessed and checking the stats constantly. Then my son and I were talking one day about addiction to smart phones because of the dopamine loop.

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Well the light bulb came on and I made the connection to my behavior, and I was really far gone by this time. Even to the point of randomly waking up in the middle of the night, and the first thing that would pop into my mind was to check how my latest post was doing.

This was just not acceptable. So I would delete all followers, remove likes and comments, and walk away from the whole thing in extreme frustration.

However then I would realize that I was keeping myself from two activities I really enjoy; reading and writing with an interactive audience. This was also unacceptable.

Anyway, now that I am aware of the connection I am more careful, and if from time to time I find I am fixating upon it too much, I make my blog private until the need for a fix dissipates to nothingness.

Not the best of solutions, but with an obsessive personality like mine, necessary.

Besides if I really wanted to write about an addiction I cannot seem to tame, I could write a novel on stress eating for comfort, because that is where the real demons in my life lie.

And they’re killing me inch by excessive inch….sigh.

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The Lord your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3-17

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8 thoughts on “50:25 With His Love

  1. Reply 2 — You probably know this is an answer to prayer. You read my posts and know I have written on this subject. I’d like to reblog this post but then you’d probably have a dopamine reaction and go private again. I don’t want that to happen as I enjoy your blog. So here we are. It does seem counter-intuitive to make a blog private but it would be a good thing if in the end when I turn it back on my blog would no longer control me. But then I’d lose my readers and I come to love my readers. Bottom line who do I love more?
    This is a thought about food addictions. It is possible to turn off the loop by fasting. If a total fast doesn’t seem possible then fast the most loved foods for a while (Don’t buy them. Don’t bring them in the house) and eat only to survive. Fasting causes the stomach to shrink and we get full easier.
    Thank you God my helper.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Lena, Yes you are right. Your post on addiction brought this subject to the front of my mind, and made me remember when I was exactly where you were when you wrote it. I didn’t respond at the time because I was not sure how to share my experience without sounding condescending, or like I had it all together, which obviously I don’t. 🙂 So I was silent, and with hindsight, perhaps not the best option. But what I can say now is thank you, because your post made me have to bring my floundering approach to the issue into focus where it can be addressed and put to rest.

      Regarding a reblog of my posts. I would never say no, it would be flattering actually. And my fixation is within myself not my blog. It exists whether I have hundreds of followers as in the past, or the handful now, or even just one. Besides with time I have learned that a majority of followers do not in reality read your posts. They will often click like on entire threads or follow people just to gain followers back. So numbers of followers really doesn’t mean anything if one is looking for connection with other bloggers. But in the end, it does not matter how many likes or followers accumulate, for having a small handful that consistently read, and can therefore follow my train of thought when I do not explicitly spell out what I mean, and they can recognize a subtle inside joke or nuance, are more valuable to me than quantity. And I have found this level of connection occurs most often if I read what they have to say too: not always true, but frequently so. For instance your post on addiction could be said to be the causation for mine, and because of that, we have connected a wee bit more than before.

      What I have managed to do is to come to peace with myself when I do panic or fixate and therefore shutdown. I don’t beat myself up for it or grieve the lost contacts, because it is what it is, and what it is is enough for me. I suppose I have learned to live in the present. Such a blessing from the Lord.

      Liked by 1 person

      • You are a blessing from the Lord. I have written a responsive to your responsive, 🙂 It includes what you wrote plus what I believe the Lord gave me this morning after reading your post. God wants me to stay in the fray and confess and resist the temptations. I’ll post it soon. God bless. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  2. MaryJo says:

    Thank you both for such thought-provoking comments – for your candor and honesty.
    It is quite obvious we can allow Anything to control us, and when the warning signals go off we need to heed them and seek the Lord for solutions before
    the thing becomes a monster.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Absolutely, when the Lord has first place in my life everything else is easier. One of the reasons I continue with this blog is because of gentle nudging from the Lord. I still haven’t figured what it is exactly these nudges mean, but they are there nonetheless, so disregard them I do not, and continue I do.

      Thank you for your kind words and taking the time to put them here, Belinda

      Like

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