50:29 Fashion Opinions
I was just going to let this one go. I don’t mind things being incomplete, so getting to the end of this list at 50:49 would be satisfying to me in its flawed kind of way.
However, I do have opinions about what I wear, what I like and dislike for myself, but I had let them go by the wayside and focused instead on the necessities of family. This was a deliberate choice on my part, to have my treasures be people not things, and I would make the same choice again if I had a do over.
Additionally, if I am honest with myself, I was so frightened and unhappy when outside of the confines of my safe zone, my home, that I was striving for invisibility. And nothing is more invisible than an overweight poorly dressed middle aged woman. My costume worked, I excelled at it actually.
Well, after losing my job this year, I was finally and completely freed me from the last piece of the past from which I wanted to hide.
I still don’t follow current fashions, I prefer to make up my own, and clothes shopping has continued to be one of my least desired things to do, but I am having such fun with all the fabric and vintage patterns I recently inherited, for I can now experiment to my hearts content without concern for cost.
I also realized as I was thinking about this question that there have been too many times in the past that I have let “not having anything to wear” keep me from either going, or going with joy, to church and other activities were I wanted to belong. It was not because it matters what I wear to church, but because I was hiding behind my clothing, not being myself, thus I felt false, deceptive, and this made it difficult to be natural and open.
So it really shouldn’t surprise me that one of the first things I did as I began to swim to the surface of the deep dark pool I was hiding in, was to buy myself some crazy socks. They could still be hidden, but I knew they were there just waiting to burst forth.
Regardless of why I let my clothing choices be what they were, I am thankful that I did let them go for a season of my life. For during that season the Lord was working on my heart, changing it into one that loves the Lord God with her all and all. He is my beauty and my strength. My outer adornment is for fun and adventure, it is not who I am inside, nor does it give me my self worth.
It is Jesus that shines forth and glows, Jesus I will not hide, the last thing I would want is for Him to be invisible in me.
“Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging the hair, wearing of gold, or putting on fine apparel – rather let it be the hidden person in the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 1Peter 3:3-4