50:32 Something you lost
Well, yesterday I lost my illusion of normalcy; the state of being usual, typical, or expected, when thinking of my mobility.
For I decided to begin using my cane in public. The falling is becoming too frequent to ignore. My left leg gives way unexpectedly completely, and crash and burn I do.
I find it amusing that it is how upset people tend to get when I tumble to ground without warning, which has pushed me beyond my pride regarding looking feeble. I find their alarm and concern, as I lay there on the ground all haphazardly, my belongs frequently flung far wide, to be entirely my fault.
For if manners are the art of making others comfortable, then it is the epitome of bad manners on my part not to use my cane to keep myself from falling. And yes this makes me laugh, that it was not the pain of hitting the ground, or even the fear of being stuck down there unable to get up, which pushed me over the edge, nope it was the desire not to upset people that did it, and make me laugh this does.