An inability to receive criticism well when young, developed in me an unreasonable fear of making mistakes, which historically has diminished my life by my not being willing to learn or do communally, from the fear of making mistakes.

However, I am striving for a future of boldness.

Only God can give me this if it is His will, but as I ask, seek, and knock, I must search my inner-most-self deeply, to be sure this is what I truly desire, and not just something I feel I should do.

Additionally I must not be idle while searching and asking. For I can actively work and prepare, keeping my eyes on the prize of a future lived outside of myself, poured out to His glory and the hope of salvation for others.

I anticipate a battle within each time I step into new territory, but I must remember to not to become discouraged or overwhelmed when my fear assaults me. I must rather remember to maneuver with God through the chemical warfare within my brain.

He alone will lead me into His rest and peace that lies within the tension of opposites where with God, I joyfully learn and do communally. For He is all about relationship.