Lonely With Me there

Christina was born within a fortress which should have been surrounded by very dense walls. This thick insulating surround was to be put in place for her protection, or so it had been said.

For a reason known only to him, the master builder gave pause to the project before it was complete, and eventually decided he liked its appearance in its unfinished form, and besides he decided, only the unimaginative could be disappointed with its lack of stature and opaqueness.

So Christina learned to pass it off as matter of fact that she was basically unprotected, and at the mercy of  the whims and foibles of the beyond. She adapted to the walls holes, patched as many as she could with fire and ice. Occasionally, she would slip through a crevasse she had missed, and join in with those who resided in the noisy chaos of outside over there.

Eventually though, the competing frequencies and pulsations that bounced off of every surface in this land of many sights and smells reached a fervid pitch, and she would retreat back into her fortress; frantically sealing the breach she had used. With each journey and retreat, and the subsequent frenzied blockading, the walls became more solid. Thus less filtered in, but alas, less also went out.

Then Christina behaved in a very untypical and disastrous fashion, she invited a fellow from the land of outside over there to come in, to be with her inside her fortress. Very quickly she realized that this would not do, however, by now the walls had been breached, the blockades of ice melted and the fires quenched by the arrival of joy, of little ones.

But there was this problem, the need for retreat, for space, for breath, was not understood by the other new residents of the fortress. Christina could not leave and abandon them, and where would she go, what could she do. She had never taken care of herself before, and the thought of new surroundings was incomprehensible in her overwhelmed state of mind,  Then there were the rules, once in, never out, and Christina knew that one can never forget the rules, or life would be a living hell, or so it had been said.

Hence, Christina did the only thing that she knew, she retreated, she built new walls of fire and ice, right there inside her fortress. She did not involve the master builder, she did not want his advice and knowledge, for she knew he would disapprove of these walls being built inside of his creation. Still, in a foolish move of desperation, Christina built these walls strong, inflexible, and solid; she was safe and trapped behind them.

That is until the master builder came around for a look see at his creation. He did not care for the solid impenetrable room he found inside, and started knocking on its bolted door to see if anyone would answer. Christina peered through the peep hole, beheld the kindness of his face, and trusted for the first time. She let him in, along with the little ones, but the anger that had developed in the fellow from outside over there, from being shut out, was too great to be encountered with any guarantee of safety.

So Christina gathered her frightened little ones, and ran away. She gave the fellow from outside over there, her fortress, her inheritance, and her prayers and best wishes in hopes that he would seek help. She even gave of herself, tried to make up for the years of silence, but this only made things worse, for a silent Christina had never voiced a thought of her own, and for Christina to disagree with him, was against the rules.

The End


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