Designs by Beckalodious

 

Today I spend the evening at an art walk with my daughter. These art shows were typically a ready made opportunity for me to people watch and create fantastical stories of their life for my own enjoyment.

However with my daughter’s increasing skill in her jewelry art, these shows are now busy occasions with many sales and actual, rather than imaginary, interactions with real live people.

This is a really good thing considering my current state of unemployment, and additionally, I am as proud a mama as is possible. Especially when I see such photos as above, with a sampling of her sterling silver flowers, where each individual petal is hand cut and formed.

I just wish I wasn’t smack dab in the middle of a fibro flare, because I’m not going to be much more than a warm body in a chair this evening.

My daughter assures me that just my simple presence is helpful, and I know that she is not just blowing smoke with those words, so disappointing her is not a problem.

No, I am the problem, for even after 25 years with chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, I have not reconciled my perceived self to my limitations, and I let this irrationality influence my opinion of myself in unhelpful negative ways…sigh.

As always though, I know I can find restoration with the Lord. He sees me as I am, not as I think I should be, and pours in His love beyond measure to fill in the gaps I have left hanging wide open from a desire to be other than I am.

I guess you could say that feasting upon His word daily plumps me up enough to smooth out the rough edges of being human.

Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation. — Isaiah 12:3

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Beckalodious.com

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Embraceable

The weight of the darkness is tempting me.

My body tingles so from its constriction.

I want so desperately to burrow in.

For to let it squash me smaller still.

Thus slip unnoticed back to Quiet.

Waiting hungrily for my return.

Within the camouflaged corners of my mind.

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