50:13 Unfathomable

13) Your first love 💕

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I would have to say, my first true love arrived with my first child. Her birth saved my life; she gave me a reason to live. Thankfully, I went on to have four more children, and because love is such an unfathomable thing, and it grows and stretches and accommodates everyone equally into its fold, I was, and am still, deeply in love with my growing family.

However, as true and as wonderful as my love for them is, it was not until Jesus first loved me that I was able to accept, and believe, others love of me in return.

I always felt unworthy and that I needed to earn their love, and be perfect to keep it.

And obviously I am not perfect, thus I was never secure.

Well, my Lord and Savior changed all that when He wrapped His grace round me tight and held me close. It is indescribable, that blanket of pure bliss, so I will give up the effort.

Only say, that all things are possible for God, and being indwelt by His Spirit gives me a strength I could never have dreamed of, and peace and joy and contentment, regardless of my circumstance.

So, if He loves me like that, who am I to question God.

I must be worthy after all, just as I am.

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50:6 In all things give thanks

6) The hardest thing you have ever been through?

The hardest thing is right now at work, and I am daily not sure if I can continue to go on like I have been, and the only reason I hold on and keep trying, is because of the occasional glimmering glimpse of the end.

However…sigh…it turns out to be a mirage and as the light shifts I am once again plunged into despair for the future.

This is not to say that there haven’t been worse circumstances, only that as I lean more and more on the Lord for my peace of mind, and have seen Romans 8:28 played out in my life time and again, I tend to find I let go of the really awful parts from the events of the past, and rest in what God was teaching me, or winnowing out of me, during those turbulent times.

This example isn’t great, but I could liken my selective remembrance to having my children, for while in the midst of childbirth, I swore right and left, never again, but then the baby is laid in my arms, and that precious gift from God wiggles and wiggles in deep, and tips all recollection of pain right out of my memory banks, and all that remains is the joy.

Thus the gain in character, knowledge, or love, from life’s tribulations, is why I suppose, that one can speak of some of the best times of their life, happening during their deepest struggles.

So with all that being said, if I am asked this question next year, what is the hardest thing you have been through, I can only hope there has been resolution for my present difficulty and I will be able to see the good that came out of it, that is, if it doesn’t kill me first today 😳

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And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

 

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50:5 If only I

5) The big lie you kinda got away with?

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It would have to be the lies I tell myself concerning the past, regarding the over estimation of my own importance, for example:

  • What if I had only run when…
  • What if I had only paid attention when…
  • What if I had only listened when…
  • What if I had only tried harder when…

You know those lies, the ones that have you running a looping dialogue in your mind, of what if I had only done this instead of that. As if you are the one in control of the universe.

Well this is nothing but sheer unmitigated pride in oneself, because if only lies, deny the sovereignty of God. For today, regardless of all my poor choices and behaviors, I am exactly where God wants me to be. I cannot change His plans, only make my life more difficult than it needs to be.

So starting today, I am not going to beat myself up anymore with if onlys, because those ifs are the whispers of darkness, and I am a child of the Light.

Rather, I am going to cling with joy to fact that the Lord has called me out regarding my hubris, crushed the lies, and won’t let me get away with them anymore.

Nope, God is good and I rest in His tender mercies.

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“The Lord upholds all who fall, And raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look expectantly to You, And You give them their food in due season. You open Your hand And satisfy the desire of every living thing.” Psalm 145:14-16

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Praying Psalm 143

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Hear my prayer, O Lord,

Give ear to my supplications!

In Your faithfulness answer me,

And in Your righteousness.

Do not enter into judgment with Your servant,

For in Your sight no one living is righteous.

 

For the enemy has persecuted my soul;

He has crushed my life to the ground;

He has made me dwell in darkness,

Like those who have long been dead.

Therefore my spirit is overwhelmed within me;

My heart within me is distressed.

 

I remember the days of old;

I meditate on all Your works;

I muse on the work of Your hands.

I spread out my hands to You;

My soul longs for You like a thirsty land.

 

Answer me speedily, O Lord;

My spirit fails!

Do not hide Your face from me,

Lest I be like those who go down into the pit.

Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning,

For in You do I trust;

Cause me to know the way in which I should walk,

For I lift up my soul to You.

 

Deliver me, O Lord, from my enemies;

In You I take shelter.

Teach me to do Your will,

For You are my God;

Your Spirit is good.

Lead me in the land of uprightness.

 

Revive me, O Lord, for Your name’s sake!

For Your righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble.

In Your mercy cut off my enemies,

And destroy all those who afflict my soul;

For I am Your servant.

Amen and Amen

Belinda

 

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Jude 1:24-25

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,

And present you faultless

Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,

To God our Savior,

Who alone is wise,

Be glory and majesty,

Dominion and power,

Both now and forever.

Amen

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Zither Zather Zuzz

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When I was elementary school young, I longed for a zither terribly. The music teacher had one, and occasionally would let me play with it…sigh, it was lovely.

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Our first artichoke has appeared unexpectedly considering the inconsistent weather. Last year they came in bunches….hum…should I be concerned.

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And this is a particularly bad and dismal photo of our asparagus root which has settled in well. This is supposed to be the first sprout of the year. It is there, one just needs imagination I suppose, when relying on my prowess as a photographer.

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I was just thinking to myself, that when you can see flowers and sunshine peeking through the snowflakes, perhaps it is time to remove this beautiful lace curtain I have been enjoying all winter.

When what do you know, Easter Eggs appeared and made all right with the world. Wishing you a heavenly Resurrection Sunday for my Redeemer Lives!

💜💛💚 Belinda💚💛💜

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